jan 20 2021 - xtreme sportz

biking home in absolute stupor // resisting stupor??

dear slushee fans,

one recent day, i biked a breezy 4ish miles to the botanical garden to see a dear one i haven’t been with in physical space since before. my last few bike rides, i began listening to music at low volume (shh) and honestly, the blend of outdoor noises and scenic views (we love the open sky up here) passing by at bike speeds, and listening to an album all the way thru is 🥺🥺. the thrilling release [obvious metaphor forthcoming, don’t @ me] of driving in a car to loud music but slower, quieter, and less carsick.

at the garden, i stayed in the cool outdoors for few hours and then somehow my chilled body had to make it back home. my muscles brittle from passive, mild shivering, i made up my (probably longer) route as i went. i reclaimed a mostly empty stretch of red bus lane, downshifted to make it up the steepest hill (honestly, would’ve been faster walking le vélo up), and floated down the slightest incline the rest of the way. once home, i dizzily crumpled on the floor and luckily got up to re-hydrate before i got stuck there, my mouth hanging open to release the comforting pulse still lingering in my silly body.

Photo by me: pink clouds at the bottom of a mostly clear sky. Below, cars in the street and a stop light at red
photo by me: from the trek home, the sky was this nice. ID: pink clouds at the bottom of a mostly clear sky. Below, cars in the street and a stop light at red

there’s not much to analyze in my new love for my running and my biking —not that i’ll stop writing about it! ofc, i have come to crave these spurts of heightened exertion because so many of the other days’ hours pass in more or less the same, tiring physical state: sitting. sitting as embodied experience, as durational performance, audience of me. sure i have my stretch breaks but, what i miss most about #beforetimes #freelanceflailing was how my schedule literally structured petits interstitials of fresh air and brain drain (the individualistic neoliberal version, not the imperialist version LOL) between points A, B, C, and D.

now i have to super intentionally tell my body to do it, to look away from my screen and just not for a bit. when time is short, the laps and across the floors (s/o to the dance contingent among y’all LOL) i can do in my room are limited. to look at strangers requires me to look at a screen again. and so, i return to the computer labor and definitely don’t procrasti-twitter and have a great time here ;3 and then, if i can escape before the sun sets, i go outside for my xtreme sportz (this is not a metaphor or a hyperbole! haha ). i do big laps and travel across a wide ‘floor’ and regard the neighbors and strangers. instead of thinking intensely while being still, i hardly think and keep it moving.

~nature is healing~ , capitalism is the virus, etc.

redacting some grafs about what audiobooks i’m listening to while cooking [for the archives] and won’t advance a ~theory of everything~ for this slushee but ~~~~~ (haha) gonna keep thinking about resisting my own stupor by substituting it with other forms of stupor as a strategy/response to .. haha… 

the planets

  • jan 20’s first quarter moon was in Aries, moving into Taurus

  • welcome to aquarius szn, may ~the things~ be clear [how am i doing? haha]

  • mercury retrogrades jan 30, get ready now or just follow the flow of ~mess~

  • the next first quarter moon is on the start of pieces szn, aka my birthday, feb 19 ;)

some reading recc’s

& some performance work in the world now / soon:

‘haha’ has cycled back in for the ‘LOL,’
benedict


ps. some upcoming events w/ me ;3
  • a smol reading / craft talk / discussion
    tue jan 26, 6-7pm EST on zoom
    FREE - RSVP here
    as part of my ongoing collaboration with Johnnie Cruise Mercer/TRPNYC’s [see above] multi-year anthology, i’ll read a quick snippet and (craft) talk about my process and questions of perspective in ekphrasis. And facilitate a chat with ~the public~ about t these writing questions, the labor “we” ask writing to do, etc. (in collaboration with Proteo Media)

  • a poetry reading
    wed feb 3, 1-2ish pm EST on zoom
    FREE - RSVP TBA (eventually on this page - DM if you want a reminder!)
    part of
    The Brooklyn Rail's "New Social Environment" Radical Poetry Reading series, full line up TBA ;)

  • a screening + discussion of The Last Moon in Mellowland 
    fri feb 5, 6-7ish pm EST on zoom
    FREE - RSVP here and on Facebook here
    Bronx Academy of Arts and Dance (BAAD!) presents a special screening of Jordan’s film (runtime ~30min). After, join me in a chat with collaborators Jordan Demetrius Lloyd, Breeanah Breeden, Ariana Speight, and emily rose cannon about the film, the times, etc. ;)